Don’t mistake us for being biased, we do not have anything against the opposite sex, in fact we love them. But a lot of times guys do strange, infuriating and even gross things. They make us wonder if guys and girls are from the same world. There are a million jokes about women’s behavior all over the internet, but with all the weird things that menfolk do, they are no better. Trying to decipher, what a man does and why, is an impossible task. I love my guy, and would love to believe that I know him inside out (no pun intended) but he still manages to amaze me every time, with his actions. While decoding their behavior will not be possible in this birth, we can still enjoy and relate to what other women feel about the men in their life.
1. The pants slap. Slapping his pockets before he leaves the house to ensure his wallet and phone are there.
2. Lowering his voice by an octave when talking to his dad on the phone.
3. When you ask him a question and he can’t decide whether he should answer with a lie, he’ll say “what?” to buy more time.
4. Conversely, raising his voice by an octave when trying to sound polite or empathetic.
5. Bonding with other guys by hating each other’s interests.
6. Grimacing while he struggles to pull his wallet from his back pocket while sitting down.
7. Not washing his bed sheets for long periods of time. Like, months.
8. Taking SO LONG to poop. Really, what’s going in there? Did you fall in? Is it a Narnia situation?
9. Taking his shirt off by pulling the neck hole over his head.
10. When hugging another man, clapping them on the back twice.
11. Keeping large amounts of change around his room in some form. Usually in a container or scattered around the floor.
12. Asking how long they need to put something in the microwave.
13. Snot rockets in the shower.
14. Liking sports teams and musicians. They’ll almost beat each other up over how bad the other team’s players are, but afterward they want to see each other again and are weirdly satisfied.
15. Making weird faces while playing video games, especially when stuck or rapid firing.
16. Peeing on the sides of the toilet so it makes less noise.
17. Being able to sit in the same place and not talk.
18. The condiment slam. They don’t simply set the nearly empty ketchup bottle on its lid for a gravity assist. Instead, they’ll slam it against the counter like it just insulted their mother.
19. The awkward crab sideways step when trying to unstick their balls from their thigh.
20. When they don’t know each other but are thrown into a social situation together (like a double date), they instantly become besties and have a sort of secret bro-handshake every guy seems to know.
21. Sticking a hand down their pants while watching TV. No reason, really. Just ’cause.
With all due respect to the masculine gender, we love them and life would be no fun without them and all their annoying habits. Actually it is these habits of theirs that makes them lovable and fun to be with. You agree, don’t you?